Many of us look at someone and we make up our minds in the first 5 minutes. We cast judgements and think we know what a persons all about. We think stuff, whether we say it out loud or not.
"Look at her! Isn't she like almost 40? Isn't she married? She thinks she's hot shit. I would NEVER do that."
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| Photo by: Tom Feaser |
Theresa Smith hasn't quite made it to 40. She's married with three children and two grandchildren. She hasn't been a model all her life and she hasn't always believed in herself. She's conquered being on her own since the age of 14, addiction, abuse, and low self esteem, which yes, she still sometimes struggles with. (I know there's a whole mess of girls rolling their eyes right now. Self esteem issues are not set aside for those over weight or unattractive.)
I may be a bit biased when writing this because she is also one of my very best friends. We've known each other since we were young teens and to be completely honest...back then, she didn't mean much to me. Not that I didn't like her...she just didn't impact me. I was indifferent toward her. And way back then I wouldn't have referred to her as a friend. She was just some chick that ran in the same circle as me for a period of time.
Time is funny. It ages us, matures us, and makes us really look at people in our lives. Who I call a friend isn't something that comes easy. Well, that's not actually true. I befriend people constantly. And it seems that even now, at my age, I find that some I THINK are my friends are only my friends while I'm serving some purpose in their lives. Theresa is anything but a friend in passing. She's the chick you call when shit gets real. She's not the friend who calls and says "What can I do?", she's the friend who just shows up and does. Constantly giving of herself and asking nothing in return.
She started this modeling endeavor not quite 2 years ago I believe. It was intended to just be something for her to do for her. And for someone who does so much for others, it was a long time coming.
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| Photo by: Paul Allan |
At first she didn't take it seriously. It was a hobby. And honestly, at that age, how many women are able to actually START modeling. Hell, most models are dried up and done by then. But Theresa rarely does shit in the way society says it should be done. To look at her you wouldn't think country. And yet, her idea of a good time is popping open a Bud Light and jumping on the back of a 4-wheeler. She smokes, cusses like a sailor and can hang with the boys any day of the week.
I can tell you ten things in 2 minutes that make her an amazing person...and yet, there are still days that she doesn't see it in herself. And you know what? That's okay. Because one of the things I admire most about Theresa is that she's a fighter. Even though she has days when she feels like her world is crashing down around her, she keeps getting up, brushing herself off, and putting herself back out there. She's not dumb...she knows there are females picking her pictures apart looking for every flaw they can find. And she knows there are men judging her only on these pictures...who see her as nothing more than something they can conquer.
There are so many of us who have no faith in ourselves. We lack self-worth, struggle with low self-esteem and even though we may only show the hard side of ourselves to the rest of the world, inside, we are questioning everything we do. We look in the mirror and pick OURSELVES apart. We turn and bend and go to a different mirror to see if we still look okay in brighter lighting. You girls know exactly what I'm talking about.
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| Photo by: William Haubert |
Several years ago I was talking to a thin, attractive female and I was listening to her talk about how she felt unattractive. Like many, my reaction was, "You're thin and hot. Quit your bitching.", and suddenly it all made sense. Because Theresa is so much like that girl. Yes...she's thin. Yes...she's attractive. But she doesn't always FEEL thin and attractive. That's not the reflection she sees every day. And yet, because WE see her as thin and attractive, we dismiss her feelings. When what we should be doing as women, is building one another up...instead, we rip her to shreds because WE don't think she should feel this way.
And this is exactly why I admire her. Because as one of her best friends, I know what she feels is genuine. I know she beats herself up. I know she cries in her pillow at night. And yet she continues to fight within herself. She continues to put herself out there for us all to pick apart. She doesn't allow her demons in her own mind to stop her from living her dreams and accomplishing her goals. And unlike the chunky, the homely, the girls who have many reasons in their own minds to have low self esteem, Theresa doesn't get the support from other females to feel better about herself. No ones telling her, "You're pretty just the way you are."
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| Photo by: William Haubert |
She's held to some invisible higher standard and instead of letting it keep her down, she strives to do what most of us don't have the courage to do. So the next time you're feeling fat or having a bad hair day or don't want to leave your house because you're bloated and have that God awful period zit...you can either choose to feel sorry for yourself, or you can brush that shit off and get back out there. Go out into the world and live your dreams. Become what YOU choose, not what society chooses for you!
If you'd like to learn more about Theresa, like her fan page on FB.
(I have no claim to any of these pictures. The amazing photographers responsible can be contacted by clicking the links under the photos which will direct you to their FB pages.)
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